Questions 13 & 14

GB - Getting Back

The compensatory coping mechanism Getting Back is distinct from the intention to seek justice and fairness. This maladjusted coping activity is typified by habitual ruminating about punishing people for their actual or possible transgressions against us. At times a person who depends on this mode of coping may slip into violent acting out. However, violence is not always present.

Getting Back is mostly in oneís mind. The acting out can be covert like non-cooperation or slandering. Sometimes there is no overt acting out, but the cost continues to remain high. One of the worst aspects of this coping mechanism is that it can make you sick. Getting back is antithetical to inner peace. The wretched ruminations trap the person in chronic stewing. Habitual anger can compromise the immune system.

The person who relies on Getting Back typically struggles with feelings of resentment and perhaps depression. The intention with Getting Back is generally to reclaim dignity. A person caught in the throes of this maladjusted reaction may ruminate a great deal about power differentials and past insults. That means that there is chronic sense of being victimized from malice, jealousy, discourtesy or indifference.

The person thinks: If I can get back, Iíll be OK. But, if I canít get back, then I wonít be OK. Being ďOKĒ may mean not having to play the victim.

This coping activity may compensate for feelings of defectiveness, or victimization. Sometimes this coping mechanism will cluster with Being Innocent or Redeeming Honor.

Record your answers to the following questions in your JOURNAL:

This Compensatory Mode is active in my life. The evidence that confirms this is as follows:

This Compensation Mode is not active in my life. The evidence that refutes this is as follows:

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