Questions 11 & 12

GO - Getting Over

Getting Over is a maladjusted coping mechanism that suggests that it is necessary to con or fool someone into supplying our needs. Getting Over seeks a symbolic victory rather than an equitable transaction. The equitable transaction, unlike the Getting Over mode, fails to suggest having the advantage or being dominant. This coping reaction further suggests that getting needs met is a battle. There is a winner and a looser.

The person who heavily relies on this mode may at times prefer to feel that his or her legitimate accomplishments are forms of getting over. This reframing is done in one’s mind. Thus, the maladjusted coping mechanism, Getting Over, becomes the norm. There is a high cost for this activity. In a sense, Getting Over can smear or spoil our true successes. Getting Over suggests contention with others. There is no peace. This coping mechanism will at times cluster with other maladjusted coping mechanism like Lying and Competing.

The coping mechanism Getting Over may compensate for feelings of being hated, abused, or excluded. Getting Over functions more like a survival mechanism than a preference. The conditional assumption associated with this mode is: "If I can get over, then I'll be alright. But if I can not get over, then I will not be alright."

Being “alright” in this case may be staying on top or preventing getting exploited. The equitable transaction does not achieve the desired end. It is seen as inherently costly.


Record your answers to the following questions in your JOURNAL:

This Compensatory Mode is active in my life. The evidence that confirms this is as follows:

This Compensation Mode is not active in my life. The evidence that refutes this is as follows:

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